Our vulnerabilities can be our greatest strength, and our greatest weakness at the same time. They can be the things that keep us in the dark, but then they can also be the things that push us out into the light.
For a while now, I have been reading a lot of books, and watching and listening to a lot of people talk about releasing all that does not serve us, thoughts, habits, emotions and so on.
Many will speak of releasing things to the Universe, or to God, which is totally fine, but I am a big believer in the higher self, and that our higher self is what is driving the vehicle that is our human self on the ground, and that our higher self is more than happy to take on all that is getting in the way of us moving forward during our time here on Earth.
One of the most profound books I have ever read, and one that I never tire of, is A Return To Love, by Marianne Williamson. Each time I listen to it on audio, or read my paper copy, I get something else out of it that I did not see or hear the first time.
With regard to vulnerability, I can really only speak for myself, but I have a lot of vulnerability around relationships, and allowing another to really get to know me. It stems from my trust issues of others based on things that have happened in the past, things that I know rationally are over and done with, and can no longer affect me, but still, regardless of how far along our journey to enlightenment we are, we are always working on ourselves.
One quote in A Return To Love, with regard to meeting a new love interest and having doubts around what we should do, goes a little something like this;
“Dear God, both you know, and I know that I have more potential for neurosis in this area of my life than any other. Please take my thoughts, feelings and emotions towards this person, and do with them what you will, Amen.”
Timing in life is an interesting thing, and one thing that never ceases to amaze me. I remember hearing this quote on a long drive, and at the time, was going through that all too familiar turmoil of having just met someone who I thought was nice, but had no idea what they thought of me, and so the whole “do they like me? Don’t they like me?” circular thought process begins.
So having heard these words in the above quote, I decided to try it out, to see what happens. I’ve written before about the higher self and about spirit guides, and I am a huge believer in such things. I call on my guides often for clarity, and my higher self and me here on the ground are on great terms. So me being me, having to change things and do things my own way, off I went with my prayer;
“Dear Spirit Guides, both you know, and I know that I have more potential for neurosis in this area of my life than any other. Please take my thoughts, feelings and emotions towards this person, and do with them what you will, Thank You.”
And so that was that. I released all of my circular thoughts that were swishing around in my mind at the time about this person and I continued with my day.
Long story short, this relationship was over before it began, but for the first time in a long time, I remember feeling complete ok about it. It was as if I had completely put my faith into the hands of my spirit guides and my higher self and that this had felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders, or perhaps more so my mind.
This then got me thinking, if I can release my vulnerabilities around relationships to my guides and to my higher self, so I can keep on living and doing the things I love, then surely I can do the same with anything that comes across my path that is not serving my highest purpose?
And as it happens, my thinking was right.
Now, one learning that I have had in doing this release of all that does not serve me to a higher power, is that while I say “and then I just got on with my day”, it is not always so clear cut. Of course there are going to be those lingering thoughts and feelings, of course there might be a bit of pain, but by practicing anything in life, we get better at it.
For me, it has shifted the focus of my meditations to be less about “trying to meditate” to just letting everything flow. Meditation has become less about sitting cross legged a couple of times a day, it has become almost my entire day, it has changed the conversation I am having with myself, and I am getting much better and quicker at releasing thoughts or feelings which are not going to serve me well. And there is much beauty in this skill, in that if we get better at recognising what is going to hit our triggers before they do, then we can save ourselves much heartache by being firm in our decision to not let things that have hurt us in the past, come back for another try.
Any type of spiritual practice is not a one size fits all, nor is it a quick fix. It takes work, it takes dedication, it takes time. There is no flu shot for spiritual enlightenment, it is a constant process of learning, reflecting and evaluating.
It is often uncomfortable because it is often quite raw and can be quite confronting. Many are addicted to negative self talk and negative image, but not so many are addicted yet to taking negative self talk and image and doing something constructive and positive with it, that is the part that is really hard, but many are trying everyday, which is amazing.
But, by acknowledging anything that is less than desirable in our lives, and then releasing it when it is no longer serving our greatest good, is right up there with one of the most powerful things we as human beings can do.
And to end with a bit of a cliche’, but an accurate one, “it won’t happen overnight, but it will happen”.